Eventually a guy comes along and picks us up. Tells us he hitched all the way across Europe back in the day so he empathized with us. Says he's on the way to pick up his son (our age) from work, a department store that happened to be on the way to the station.

His son gets into the car, understandably pretty bemused as to why his dad has brought two random stragglers with him!

We get to the station only to find that it's closed, because, yes, it's Boxing Day and trains weren't running either (we hadn't really thought this through). Guy says:

"Don't worry lads, all the family are around ours for Christmas dinner. My brother lives in West London so he can give you a ride there at the end of the night."

So we found ourselves, two foreign students, invited to a complete stranger's Christmas dinner party. We all had so much fun and drank so much that we completely abandoned the London idea and went back to my Grandma's at the end of the night.

And the kid who was our age that got picked up from work? He ended up being my Best Man when I got married 15 years later. True story!

I was driving from South Carolina to Virginia, I was completely broke, and had exactly $20 in cash, and only a couple dollars in my checking account. I did my math wrong, and didn't have enough money for enough gas to make it home. I was trying to draft behind semi trucks and drive slow to conserve fuel, but it wasn't enough.

I called my bank at the gas station with my needle on empty and asked what would happen if I overdrew my account by $50, and the guy on the phone asked me to explain the situation. Afterwards he said I was good to go.

I asked, what does that mean? He said there's now $50 in your account. You can use it to fill up your car on your debit card.

I filled up my car and made it home. When I checked my account later, expecting to see an overdraft fee, there was a deposit of $50 from some account I didn't recognize. The guy had just transferred me $50 from his own account. I never figured out who this was, so ~18 years later, I'll take this opportunity to say: thank you sir.

I don't know that this is THE nicest thing anyone has ever done, but it was a small thing that made a huge difference in that moment.

He shook his head and said, "No, that won't do. You're on his team, too" and handed me a jersey. Then he went ahead and paid my registration fee.

More than the money, it was the proactive nature of it that struck me at the time. The thing is, if I had asked my parents they probably would have signed me up. But it was one of those things where it would have never crossed my mind to ask. I ws as one of those kids that needed a push every now and then and rarely got one.

I never got very good at basketball but I never missed a game and had a great time with my friend. So not a tragic or desperate story, but still meaningful to me all these years later.

After reaching an age where bi-polar disorder goes full swing, I was unable to manage manic episodes; they'd spring up and I'd be awake for days and then crash horribly. I lost all hope that I'd be able to hold down a typical job ever again. I became a 24h/7d alcoholic with the goal of never being conscious and trying to sleep through life until it ended.

I was at the local shop where I bought my booze buying a bunch of beer and vodka around 7-8am. A guy near me at the counter made a comment about what a great party must be coming. I looked at him, probably dead-eyed, and said, "I'm an alcoholic."

He put his hand on my shoulder. He didn't say anything. It was just a moment of compassion. It was deeply kind. What was communicated was simply that someone cared and, to this day, I wish I had a way to thank him for that profound gesture.

A couple years ago we had a particularly bad snowfall. The plow has a nasty hate filled habit of dumping all its snow in my driveway. I had a drift at the end of my driveway about 4 feet high and 6 feet deep. Literally up to my chest. I had spent a solid hour just chipping away at it trying to get my car out and had made very little progress.

Right as I was about to give up in frustration, a man in a bobcat drove by. Moments later he turned around, came back, and asked "would you like me to clear that for you?" I told him that would be amazing. Took him a couple minutes and then he waved and drove off before I got a chance to offer him any money or even thank him.

I think about this guy pretty often, it's absolutely the random act of kindness in my life I have appreciated most.

A recent lesser snowfall for context:

https://imgur.com/a/1un20s7

We painted BOS > SF on the back window. At a gas station in Memphis a random guy walked up to us and said "Make sure you go to Graceland. Can't miss it."

We sort of smile and nod politely and then walk into the gas station to use the bathroom, reload on snacks etc.

10 mins later we come back outside and the same guy comes over "I bought you all tickets to Graceland, who can I text them to?"

Truly such a sick moment. Graceland was a highlight of the trip and to have someone just do such a random kind thing made it that much better. Long live Elvis, long live the King. Thanks again to whoever you are that did that. Respect.

My car broke down at a rest stop due to overheating and would not start again. I called a local shop on a Sunday afternoon and some guy in a tow truck pulled up and brought me to his place.

He knew immediately it was some fuel control module that dies when overheated, and just so happened to have a car he was working on to resale with the same one. I truthfully told him I probably couldn’t afford to pay him for it until I got my first paycheck and he asked how much I had. Told him about $120 to my name and he just charged me $100 and said I was good to go.

I (barely) made it to my new spot at 4am or so going 35mph to keep from overheating again. Flashers on the whole way there. Used my change jar to pay for my final tank of gas.

I didn’t fully realize how much that repair should have cost - plus the tow - plus the same day off hours service.

I think about that guy a lot and it’s informed my charitable giving ever since. I like to think I’m still paying it forward to this day when situations arise for me to help out someone in need who isn’t asking for a favor first.

Given the response I got from family when I called them to ask for a $100 loan to pay for gas on that trip informed my relationships with them for life. A stranger went out of his way more than supposedly close family did during my most dire (at the time) emergency I had ever experienced.

When we got back home after the long trip, we sent him a nice sweatshirt with "New Jersey" on it.

One of those happened in a heavy rainstorm. The ground was soft, and I don't know why exactly, but I couldn't get the jack to lift the jeep high enough to lift the tire.

I was on a country highway near my home, with no cell service and maybe one car every ten minutes. I tried a few spots, even just halfway in the lane--I was afraid, though, because the rain limited visibility for other drivers.

A man pulled up behind me in a Subaru. He wasn't local; he had come from Tennessee to paint a local scenic spot. He not only lent me his jack, but he got out in the pouring rain and helped until it was done. We both had raincoats, at least.

He said that just the day before, he had a flat of his own, and someone stopped and helped him solve some problem he couldn't get around, too.

I doubt that's the nicest thing a stranger ever did for me, but I sure appreciated it. Stopping and helping may be a small kindness, but it can feel like a miracle to the recipient.

I think it's important to remember especially in traffic and such that cars aren't cars, they are people. I have no idea the real ratios, but imagine 20% are genuinely good people, 60% are just going about their lives, and 20% are miserable for some reason and drive like miserable people. It's easy to think everyone else is an idiot and become aggressive, but remember it's a small percentage who actually agitate you.

Now to answer the question. I guess it's when I was a kid, I'd completely torn my ACL but they wouldn't operate until I was done growing. I don't know how old, 12 maybe? I was in Washington DC running across a busy street when my knee slid out of place and I fell in the road. A Mercedes stopped, purposely blocking both lanes of traffic, and a husky middle aged black lady in scrubs got out and dragged me out of the road onto the sidewalk. She asked if I was ok, and I was as it happened here and there, and off she went. It was such a kind gesture in a city that seemed so cold and always on the go.

When I came home from school I would sometimes kick ball against the wall and I could spot old people looking at me from the windows, they would stare at me for a long time.

One summer an elderly woman came out on the balcony and invited me to come up for ice cream, my parents had warned me to beware of friendly strangers but my judgement at the time was that it was a neighbor so they must be friendly.

I entered and to my surprise the woman wasn't alone, she lived with her husband who was sitting in an armchair and they both looked to be in their 80s. They seemed very happy to have me, we sat down on the balcony and I remember feeling a bit awkward as these two strangers looked and smiled at me as I was eating the ice cream.

I don't think they ever had any children.

This memory sometimes resurfaces, and now at 41 I realize how sad and wonderful this was at the same time.

We moved away shortly after and I never saw them again.

I must have been too shy to think of climbing onto the person next to me. My best guess is that I was "jumping" up off the bottom to get brief bits of air while hoping it wasn't in the middle of a wave. After doing this for a bit, could be just seconds, I started to panic (I really couldn't tell you how long, felt like forever). I heard a whistle and somehow this lifeguard was there through the crowd within seconds (they had been standing along the wall of the pool but I was more in the middle).

The people all around me shoulder to shoulder hadn't even noticed what was going on, I still feel amazed the lifeguard could pick me out from thousands of heads and get to me.

(I don't know if this can be considered "nice" cause it was their job, but it's something that has always stuck with me).

As I was setting up the tripod on a bench, and man who was walking by offered to take a photo for us. I didn't want to explain what was going to happen, so I declined. But he insisted that he had the exact same camera, and would be happy to take some photos.

I lowered my voice so my girlfriend wouldn't hear, and said "Ok don't react at all, but I am about to propose to my girlfriend." He nodded in understanding and calmly took the camera. He took a few posed shots and then gave me the signal. I got down on a knee and proposed (completely forgetting what the speech I had prepared, of course), with him taking photos all the while. I'm certain that the photos he took (in manual mode!) turned out much better than what I would have captured at sunset/dusk, via remote.

A year or two later I mentioned to my then-wife that it would have been nice had we invited the man to our wedding. She laughed and said that she always assumed he was a photographer whom I had paid to be at the location at that time. It took quite some convincing before she understood that he was just a Nikon photog who was in the right place at the right time.

He was a complete stranger and incredibly kind, supportive, and helpful throughout the process. Still grateful for that. Small acts like that restore a bit of faith in humanity.

It also reminded me of a Steve Jobs quote:

“Most people never pick up the phone. Most people never ask. And that’s what separates, sometimes, the people who do things from the people who just dream about them. You have to act, and you have to be willing to fail. If you’re afraid of failing, you won’t get very far.” - SJ

We had barely pulled our bikes onto the sidewalk when a woman in a sedan slowed down to ask if we needed help. We said yes and she quickly pulled over. We piled our bikes into her car, trunk open, and she drove us to the nearest bike shop.

Turns out her family member ran the shop.

Truly saved our day. We made it to Provincetown and 15 years later still remember her so fondly and are so thankful!

This wonderful woman came over and asked if I wanted a hug. It warmed me to my bones. She said that "people should do that more", or something along those lines, and disappeared.

I don't remember her face, I just remember the warm feeling in my chest.

Earlier an older cousin had been out in the canoe and it looked easy enough. I put one foot in and realised my error immediately, toppling into the water. I remember clearly the water bubbles going by and thinking 'Oh dear, my mum is going to be so angry about this.' I came back up and saw a couple now running up along the path -- they had seen me go in.

I don't remember anything else. I'm told the man fished me out and then there was a great kerfuffle as I was hung upside-down and coughed a bit. My cousins got a massive earful from my mother, who was furious with the eldest in particular for losing track of me. My father taught me to swim.

The man was thanked profusely, but we don't know his name. I hope he had a wonderful life and I'm grateful for mine.

Although this was in Nigeria, we have this certain camaraderie through hardship, it was still extremely surprising seeing a group of 6 men come out of nowhere, having nothing to do with each other aside being passerbys join hands, exerting sweaty effort to get my car out a ditch by 8pm.

Left me quite an impression

An elderly lady we met at the parking lot offered us, three random strangers in their 30s stay at her place for the night. Her nephew even drove to the camping area where we headed off and probably lost the key. It was heart-warming.

After returning home we sent her a huge Christmas packet with typical specialties from Austria. (Pumpkin seed oil and others. :-) )

I'll write her a letter this Christmas.

When I was 20 or so I worked at a pizza place (Godfather's Pizza in Kansas City, FWIW). I suppose because I had a high school diploma, the manager had taken a liking to me and made me "shift supervisor" — which is kind off like assistant to the manager. Anyway, I was often left in charge to close the store with a few of the high school hires.

I often noticed a family come in on Tuesdays or whatever when there was some kind of promotion like get a large for the price of a medium or whatever. They often had some coupon you cut out of a newspaper so they could save another $2 or whatever. They were quiet and I decided they were not very well off.

I had a flashback to my own childhood: where going out for pizza with my sister and (single, working) mom was a real treat for us (and with the coupons, or free drinks).

When they order I make an extra large rather than a large. Unfortunately, this night, I think the pizza was left a touch long in the oven and it comes out with the cheese a little browner than I would have preferred. I was a bit embarrassed handing it to them and then even more embarrassed when they didn't even bat an eye but quietly accepted the pizza.

I decided nonetheless to make them another pizza and when it was done I brought it out to them in a to-go box—apologizing for the first pizza.

I can't know how it made them feel, but I was happy to be in a position to do that. (To hell with corporate profits, ha ha.)

BTW, here she is: https://www.linkedin.com/in/suzanne-travis-rn-ocn-reiki-cert...

At 15 years old, I stupidly rode my bike across the street in front of my high school on a red light. It looked safe, but a car was speeding in the opposite lane, and I had to turn back to avoid being killed. So now I was in the lane I had just crossed and another speeding car hit me, throwing me (and my bike) about 40'. I was dead on the street, and a stranger stopped to give me CPR. After a month in the hospital with a broken back, and the doctors scratching their heads because I wasn't a paraplegic, I was eventually okay.

I never got to thank him. All I ever learned about him is that his name is Mark.

I was very nervous when a random guy stopped. My initial thought was, "Am I about to be robbed?" But it turned out that he was just a local aerospace engineer, and it was his hobby to help stranded motorists.

I'm really not sure what I would have done with the trailer if he hadn't offered to help. We were more than 600 km from home.

I feel like many places have forgotten that. Maybe law enforcement got too expensive or there were too many corrupt police but so much now is no longer enforced and so the selfish "it's okay if I can get away with it" types are winning.

My team and me had just won 2nd place with a prestigious competition and decided to spend a chunk of the prize money right then and there: Wanted to get myself a nice backpack (Victorinox) but as I was a student at the time and the prize money would come much later, I came a significant amount of money short... This person just handed me, in cash, a hundred dollars. The backpack is now over 10 years old, and I still use that backpack daily with lots of pleasure, and only has minor scuff/wear and tear marks. It's been a fond memory to revisit, also because the memory is attached to my first time visiting Seattle (and Microsoft HQ). If the person that handed me that cash all those years ago reads this: Thank you so much, I would love to share what I've been up to.

One that comes to mind was when I was on my own as a teen, and fortunately had a community college co-op student internship. My coworkers looked out for me in various ways, both professionally and personally, as if it was just ordinary for them.

I also found some similar above-and-beyond goodness by people at Brown University.

So that's what I knew in adulthood, until later disillusionment.

I still try to promote the way that I know exists, and I recognize a lot of other people who live that, or are ready to switch to it.

I was couchsurfing with a bicycle, and was not able to find a place to stay on the last day. So, instead of trying I asked a guy where I stayed the first day if I can return. Not only he agreed, but also helped to get to the airport with my packaged bike.

Another case was when I stayed in Jordan, and the guy who I rented apt from helped us so much for free. He helped us to get to the dead sea (with two bikes, no less!), fought for the price with street traders so we could get an honest price and so on.

And the final and best story is about a people who found us trying to put up a tent during the huge storm in iceland.

They invited us to spend a night in their camping cabin and shared their dinner with us. This happened after we were going 12 hours through the storm with a heavily packed bikes. IT felt like an angels touch. I almost cried due to happiness (I hardly ever cried back then).

A Turkish lady got out of her car, went to the boot and got three heavy duty plastic bags out. She helped pick up the groceries, pack it into the bags, all the while ignoring traffic and halting cars. I said my most profuse thank you in German and all she said was: no problem. I still remember it often.

I should probably talk to somebody about that…

We stopped at a bus stop to regroup and there were two local men, construction workers as I recall, sitting at the stop. They got us back on track but more than that, they cracked open a 6 pack of beer and shared it with us. I dont know what those beers could have cost but it was not cheap. They were regular guys and we were lost rich tourists. In no world I would have imagined would they have shared those beers with us but there they were and they ensured we got to the hotel as well.

I will always remember that kindness.

A nice black man (this was important because I grew up in a white neighborhood and hadn't encountered many black people before) knelt down to me and asked me if I was okay, if I was lost. They brought me to the zoo office where they called my parents.

I'll never forget how strange and different they were to the child me, and yet how kind they were in the sea of scary strangers.

On the other side of the coin, I was leaving a thrift store in San Leandro and saw some black thing on the road. I was stopped at an intersection and picked it up. It was a wallet with $500 in it and a woman's out of state personal and business ID., but no local address or phone number. I took a real chance and left it with the thrift store staff, hoping they could find her. Perhaps she was just there? Well, they said later that they found her through her bank, and returned it to her. I forgot if it was before or after, but I did purchase two Klipsch Heresy Speakers there for $50 total.

A woman passing by saw the whole thing, and said she lived nearby and would happily run me a bath.

I took her up on the offer, and, um, I was a few hours late to work that day :-)

This has been burned in my memory going on for more than 25 years. I have gone over and beyond for both people and strangers, but I have yet to be in a similar situation to pay it forward.

i got carried away reading, evening came .. i decided to leave, but that park was already closed and unlike most parks where i usually go, this one has absolutely no way out, they lock everything..

he noticed me, told me there's on spot where the fence is missing a bar, enough for a person to escape.. but not for my bike which means i'd have to leave it chained to a tree during the night.. not thrilled by that idea

that kid sat on the fence and help me lift the bike, grabbing the dirty wheel and everything. the bike was out, and i used the thin hole to get out.

felt crazy to me that this kid went that far to help a stranger

i went back there a few times with some money but didn't ran into him, until a month later our paths cross so i could thank him

I was in Thailand on a bus, with only Thai people, it was a really local bus. The bus would stop around every 30 miles/50 kilometers. I didn't know that. I needed to get off at a particular stop as it was close to the meditation retreat I was going to (Phitsanulok). I miss the stop. I figure it'd be fine. I didn't realize the 30 miles thing. So after half an hour of driving I ask the bus driver when it's going to stop. He said he'll stop in another 15 minutes.

It was about to get dark. I asked him if he could please stop now. I was 25 miles away, it'd be rough but 8 hours of walking is doable. He stopped, now I was on the side of the road. It had gotten dark.

I noticed houses next to the side of the highway. It was a strange sight to walk next to a highway and see houses next to it. In one case, I saw a father, mother and 2 children outside ready to go inside.

I asked them for help. They didn't speak English but listened. With our hands and feet and a bit of Google Translate, I got to tell them my story. The father looks at me with understanding eyes and gestures for me to get on the back of the moped. I get on the back. He brings me to a police station. He says they'd take me to Phitsanulok.

In the police station, no one was there. There was one light on and blinking. The room itself looked grey-ish white. I felt like I was in the beginning scene of a horror film. Before the father left, I asked him why there was no one here. He told me that the policemen were having dinner and they'd probably be done in an hour. I sat there for an hour.

The policemen came out, they looked at me surprised. They spoke English, I told them my situation. They said "alright, get back in the car". And they just gave me a whole ride of 25 miles to where I exactly needed to be.

To say that I was grateful would be an understatement. I offered them money, because while I know that they are just working, I reckon that this type of stuff is not in the job description of a policeman. I was purely offering it out of gratitude. They said no. I offered 2 more times, they still said no. I did my best to show I was incredibly grateful and I think they got the message, haha.

Thanks to those Thai policemen, and other acts of kindness I've experienced over the course of my life, I will pay it forward. Not because I feel I have to, mostly because I see how wonderful that attitude actually is.

I was so angry at first when I found out that this was my last train and I missed it but it turned out to be great story I can tell :)

Thank you strangers, I'll repay it back to somebody in the future

Two very beautiful young ladies came up to me, and said you look like you need a hug. Instantly my spidey sense went on red alert, as I figured these two were pickpockets or scammers or ladies of the evening, since I was much too old to be of interest to them, and no woman has ever remarked that I was handsome. I asked them what they were doing, and they said they were just doing a project spreading kindness.

So I said ok and one of them gave me a truly wonderful hug, and I said thank you and they went on their way.

All I can say is "wow".

Turns out, wrong train, going slightly the wrong way. But a guy walks up to me in the train, asks me where I'm going, and starts to help me get to where I need to go. He arranged a bunk for me, talked to the conductor for me, bought(!) another train to Agra for me, called hostels in Agra, etc etc. I've had multiple such encounters here in India, of people going so far out of their way to help me here, something you would honestly never see in my country Germany. It's like a strange incongruence, with one fraction of the population hell-bent on fleecing you for all you've got, and another that will go way further out of their way for you than you could ever imagine.

I was blown away and so grateful.

I have paid it forward many times over.

I had a door to door selling summer job in America at 21 after leaving university (I'm a brit) .

The job was primarily on the Eastern Shore in Delaware. Everywhere I went a kept hearing about the famous crabs they cook. One chap whose door I knocked on asked if I'd had any yet. I told him I hadn't.

He sat me down there and then with his whole family to eat some at a meal with them.

I wish I could find them again and thank them properly.

A lot of people have done a lot of nice things for me, that one kind of stands out since he didnt seem like he had much.

I have a lot of such stories while riding dirt bikes. Kind of need to depend on the help of others if you get wedged or injured.

I will also never forget the CEO who gave me 3 paid months time off when I was hospitalized / sick. I think it was a risk for him since it was unclear I would be able to work again, but fortunately I made it back.

I went over a platform and into a small garage pit used for burning trash. After I stopped rolling, I dusted myself off and thought, "well, that could have been worse". Then came a man running towards me, grabs my elbow and pulls the head of a broken bottle out of it. Blood started spraying everywhere of course.

After one of my friends that was riding with me used his shirt as a tourniquet, the man flagged down a (private) mini bus(that provides public transportation), to me to the hospital, stayed with me then, paid my bus fare and then took me back home to my neighbourhood.

I never saw the man again even though he probably lived in the neighbourhood next to mine.

Recently in NYC, I was offloading my car when a girl with a box of croissants and cookies came up to me as asked if I wanted a croissant. She that she mistakenly bought more than she could eat. I looked at her as if she fell from space for a second and she noticed. She then said she bought the from a nearby bakery and they were perfectly fine as she continued eating one herself. I hesitantly took one, which was still warm and bite into it. It was great and I told her girl so and thanked her.

I went inside with my croissant in hand and told my wife what had happened. I got the scolding of my life for eating food from a stranger. I had to throw the rest of the crossiant away of course. That sucked because that one bite was so good.

Another passenger saw me crying on the phone with my father when I had to ask him to help me buy a new ticket back home. He (and another elderly passenger) cheered me up and offered me to stay with him until the next flight out the next afternoon.

Took me (male, 21) to his room, took care of me until my flight and told me to pay it forward.

It was one of my first intentional trips and it had all gone to shit even before this event. I flew back home with like 30 euros on my account.

Less exotic than some stories here but I remember it 20 years later.

Within 3 years I went from a college dropout with nothing going on to making 6 figures.

That was a long time ago and I've been comfortable ever since.

2 evictions before I turned 19 and I haven't been evicted since.

Life is good.

Turns out he had his own show on the radio, and he played my song! Well, Nirvana's song, but the one I picked. He even dedicated it to me and everything! I thought I was bonafide rockstar for years after that!

I guess I should qualify the story by saying, he was a stranger at the time, but not for long. His son was 2 years younger than me and we became best friends, and he was like a second dad for me too. But that came later.

Bobo is not with us anymore, but here's to his memory.

She just handed me an umbrella and drove off after I said thank you.

I'd been (reluctantly) going to Mozambique for a service job on a vessel, reluctantly as my grandmother was rather worse for wear and I feared she was nearing the end. She urged me to go, though, and to tell her all about it when I got back.

She died while I was in Maputo harbour, waiting for the vessel to dock so I could get to the airport and back home.

Can't remember much of the flight from Maputo to Jo'burg, but from South Africa to Frankfurt was terrific, considering the circumstances.

A stewardess quietly pulls me aside as I am about to board the flight to Europe and asks me something like 'Gee, you look terrible, what happened?'

I just shrug and tell her my grandmother died a few hours ago, we were really close, and I felt terrible for not being with her &c.

Next thing I know, she's hugged me for a long time - to the annoyance of people queuing behind me - before dumping me in a vacant seat in business, tells me she'll be back the moment we're airborne.

Sits down in the adjacent seat, starts asking me about good memories about my grandmother, talks to me throughout more or less the entire flight, ensuring me that her job is to make me as comfortable as she can given the circumstances.

Once we landed in Frankfurt, she asked if I was OK going on alone - she'd be happy to accompany me all the way back home if I needed her, Lufthansa would make that work, no worries.

We still exchange Christmas letters every year; I mailed this year's on Friday.

I'm sure there must be more instances, but that's the first one I can think of.

Out in western Kansas, riding my motorcycle to go see my dad who was working in the field. Didn’t know the gas light on my bike was busted. Engine stalled in the middle of nowhere on an early May morning. I hiked for a bit and knocked on a farmhouse door. The guy and his wife offered me a coffee, breakfast, and a gallon out two of gas (85 miles of range on a bike). Can’t thank them enough.

I’ve tried to return the favor 10x fold to strangers.

Limped into a 24hr kiosk and asked to borrow their phone to call for a ride. Got a no. Tried explaining the situation, no sympathy.

A guy who happened to be in there saw that I was really not having a great time, came over and just hugged me and said it was gonna be alright and let me use his phone. No idea who you are, wouldn't recognize you if I ever met you again, but thanks for that.

I'm ugly so strangers aren't nice to me.

I was in a car accident once, many years ago... nothing terrible but I was in shock (it was my first car accident) and in mild pain (bruises from the airbag and a headacke mostly). The other party came over and asked me if I had a phone. I was still in my car, trying to realize what happened. When I said that yes, I have a phone he said "then better call the police. the accident was your fault" (which for all I know was probably true), then he left to sit on the roadside and smoke a cigarette and scroll on his smartphone until the police and ambulance arrived, 15 minutes later. Because of him, they came with 4 or 5 extra vehicles, simply because I couldn't really answer their questions well ("how many people are in the other car? is anyone injuered besides you? are the cars still driveable or do they need to be towed?" all quesions I couldn't answer)

I overheard that he got a lecture from one of the cops later on, but still it was an experience that I don't want to make again anytime soon

As my mother and I sat in the reception area fighting with the hospice administrator, a medical transport pulled up and unloaded another patient. After putting the new patient back in their room the driver walked up to us as we were sliding into a heated argument with the hospice administrator.

She asked the administrator what the problem was and was told that policy was visitors can't be going into the patient area and it was very firm. They'd had issues with the local government about being slack about it. The driver turned to me and said something along the lines of "here's what we're going to do:

Since I can apparently run around freely in this place, I'm going to find your father and put a star in his window so you can always find where he is.

Number two, I'm going to give you a set of full hazard gear.

Number three" and she turned to the administrator put her finger up into her face and very sternly said, "they are going to hire you as a part time employee, in maintenance, or IT support or whatever, and your hours of employment here are going to be whenever you need to visit your father."

she turned back to me, "but this doesn't mean it's a free pass, you are going to wear all of this hazard gear whenever you come 'work' here, promise me that okay?"

She then took the administrator off to a side room, had a conversation, and I had a piece of paper to sign about 30 minutes later making me an employee of the hospice.

I made it into and out of the hospice without incident for the next week until we decided to bring my father home to die as he wasn't receiving almost any care there. I don't know what the ambulance driver and the administrator discussed, but I suspect it was the absolutely woeful state of the facility.

The look on my father's face when a head-to-toe masked man entered his room the first time, and when I took my mask off to show him I was there for him, and how the terror just simply fell from his face, is something I will always remember as is the kindness of the driver who put herself out there for us.

The period was incredibly hard, beyond the situation with my father, the medical system was in absolute shambles, and as my father's health was rapidly deteriorating, it was among the only kindness we received during that wretched journey.

---

I had some young family drama which kept me from studying for my first oral university exam. so I talked with the prof about it. he told me to bring a sick leave attestation from Dr such and such - or to come and give it shot. gave it a shot. "you can do much better that's obvious. I'll give you the weakest passing grade or I fail you and you redo the exam. your choice." wow.

When he heard that I had just moved cross country for work, he insisted on giving me one of his originals and some signed prints he just had made, as a housewarming gift. I joked about how badass it was that he had signed prints, he shrugged and played it off like they were only using school supplies to make a little fun money. It was just an A4 sized watercolor, it hung on my fridge for years with the prints

A decade later I had a friend over and they were asking about them, I couldn't remember anything so they reverse image searched on their phone. His exhibition was at fucking MoMA. His career took off after that and it is worth a decent chunk of change. I went and got it properly framed the very next day

I begged the guy that helped me fill out the paperwork for that program to give me something proving the hospital was paid. He broke the law and gave me the whole month's reimbursed list of everyone in that program. Hospital made the situation go away in less than a day once they saw I had it.

I will never forget his name since he put his ass on the line doing that and I never met him in person, just a few phone calls.

OTOH, I seem to be "that stranger" whenever possible. And that's mighty satisfying. People I've studied under or assisted with computer support have a habit of getting Nobel Physics Prizes. I have aggressively looked for and found, owners of lost cell phones and ipods.

Sorry to disappoint!

BTW, a friend is an M.D. While I was visiting his home, his cat scratched me, and I asked if he had any betadine. He didn't. So, you never know. Having been in the Coast Guard "Semper Paratus" always ready, I tend to bring small tools and first aid with me when I drive, but the only application so far was someone whose battery died in the SFO cell phone lot around midnight, and I had the jumper cable handy. The more serious one was when I was coming home and saw a light flickering in the neighbor's detached garage. Well, he wasn't welding. It was an electrical fire, and I made sure they knew about it post haste (they were watching TV in the front room). And that's about it.

I should add that this was back in the days of dumb phones, long before GPS devices were common in cars, so all I had was a small-scale paper route map of France. I had no clue which way to go to find help, and no way to find a phone number. It was late afternoon, and we were still a long way from the campsite. I was starting to sweat.

But then a French woman with her daughter pulled over in a small car and asked if we needed any help. Using a mixture of my poor French and sign language, I indicated I needed a wheel wrench, which she pulled out of her boot. My joy and relief were obvious. I change the van wheel in no time, thanked her profusely, and off she went.

But there was twist in the tale: my hazard lights had been flashing so long that when I tried to start up the car, all I got was that sickening tick-tick-tick sound of a dead battery. Could my day get any worse? But then I remembered that my van had its own battery! A quick battery swap-over later, and we were back on the road, and had a great holiday, all thanks to the kindness of a big-hearted French woman who was kind enough to stop and offer help to foreign strangers stuck in the middle of nowhere.

All of a sudden, some guy who looked to be in his 20s comes in clearly not from the area. He was dressed like a backpacker and he seemed lost. He was studying the coffee menu and saying hi to those around him. His friendliness and being-in-the-moment-ness really touched me, helped to pull me out of myself. When I went to pay for my coffee, I told the cashier that I was going to pay for his coffee as well. While I was still waiting for my coffee, he went to pay and learned that I had already paid for his coffee. I was embarrassed, but I will never forget the look of appreciation on his face.

When he was about to fall to his death a father and son that happened to be there in a struck of luck managed to grab him and save his life. My friend had banged a few rocks in the way down so his leg was fractured and they had to help him down for hours.

They saved his life and risk theirs to ensure he had the best chance. They visited my friend in the hospital where he was grateful and teary eyed. And then the father and son asked him for money, straight up. My friend of course agreed on an amount to them, all in all, he didn't know how to repay them anyway and this was oddly simple. I found everything heroic and strange at the same time but a good story.

Two of those occasions are when I crashed on my skateboard, and when I crashed my car. Both times, a young woman stopped to help me[0]. In fact, I'd be hard pressed to say when people haven't been kind to me. A girl on a train gave me the book she finished reading. A homeless guy helped me push a car[2]. I left my car open once with everything inside and a passing woman closed it for me and left a note.

But also the society built here assists competently when individuals cannot. After a motorcycle accident in the city, the ambulance was there to pick me up apparently (I wouldn't know, I have amnesia) within minutes.

We've always stopped to help when we can and have many times (a few in SF here[2]) but it is gratifying that others are also like that. The other thing I like is that people don't mind asking for help. I was at the Safeway up in Diamond Heights, all in my motorcycle gear (which some can find intimidating) and this old lady asked for help with her car boot. Why on Earth would I know? But it turned out to be a quick fix and while I sorted the latch out, this other elderly couple talked to me about the husband's Ducati which he used to have.

In fact, I have come to think about this non-kin pro-sociality as being some sort of sociocultural superpower among the societies that can practice it. It seems to me that the most successful societies practised this. Even in the age of empire, it seems some societies were more capable of pro-social outcomes. British imperialism was a brutal thing in many places and especially earlier in its time, but compared to intra-tribal violence among indigenous peoples it seems almost civilized. The bare minimum rise to civilization seems to have been to replace terminal fatal violence with non-terminal subjugation (which seems to have been a hard thing to achieve). The Maori left only a hundred or so Moriori alive, and ate and killed the rest. By comparison, the British had the Maori in parliament.

Similarly, the father of the Charlie Kirk shooter encouraged him to give himself up: placing his kin at the mercy of his non-kin society. I think this kind of non-kin pro-sociality is where the magic is in a successful society. But producing that is hard. As an example, no matter how much a young woman would want to help a man waving her down on the side of the road, she should not do so in Somalia. American society (and many others) has solved, for the most part, the problem of stranger trust. That enables this kind of cooperation, which enables large-scale coordination, which helps a society prosper.

This reminds me of what A Splendid Exchange says about the Qu'ran having rules on commerce and law: thereby allowing the Islamic world to prosper because any Muslim of the time could meet another Muslim of the time and know they lived by the same law (enforced by God, one presumes). This allowed stranger-trust across the seas.

Overall, quite fascinating. These societal innovations are devices that last for some period of time and provide a massive boost to those societies. Certainly whatever Dutch system existed to enforce joint-stock capital, a secondary market, and derivatives allowed them to coordinate to be the power they were at the time[3]. I wonder what the next such device will be.

The default of humanity seems to be to cooperate[4], so the hard part here is finding the device that fights exploitation of pro-sociality.

0: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Blog/2024-08-14/Fearless_Ame...

1: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Motorcycle_Accident

2: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Blog/2025-02-20/Car_Breakdow...

3: Though the flip side is the zielverkopers - people who turned labor into a tradable commodity but using what is in practice debt bondage

4: In some sense, all living beings are formed from cooperation

I sometimes even get the feeling that altruism is seen as a weakness these days.

Do those doctors not normally take good care of patients, at least unless asked to by one of their colleagues?

Everyone stared deeper into their phones until he went away, but when he came back a woman with a child handed him some change and he walked on without thanking her.

The kid asked "why did you give him money mummy?" and her response was simply "you see homeless, you give money" and that was the end of it. I just liked the implicit matter-of-fact decency in which she lived her life.

The most recent one was walking through an "ancient village" in China, looking around at all the cool houses and poking my head into the obviously shop ones. There was one shop (I think, I never did actually find out!) with a load of traditional instruments that you could see through the open front door and someone playing to the side of the door. I poked my head in, and they stopped playing as they were too embarrassed to play for an audience, but I had a bit of a chat with her in Chinese about the instrument - it was a guqin, and similar concept to the guzheng I'd had a couple of hours of lessons on as part of my language classes back home. (The difference is that guqin is more like a 7 string violin without frets, a guzheng is 21 strings each a different note). About a minute later, a guy popped in and explained that the woman was shy playing in front of others, and when she told him that I'd mentioned the other instrument, he sat down and said "I'll teach you to play!". Which he did for about 10 minutes and then said, "Follow me, pipe, pipe, pipe!" He then took me down a small street and into a different shop that turned out to be a school for bamboo flutes (called xiao), which are like reedless descant recorders, so you have to make the base sound with your lips. Despite knowing the fingering from learning the recorder as a kid, I only managed to produce a note about 20 or 30 times from 100+ attempts, but they were impressed anyway. He sat me down to drink tea, and brought it all the other students and teachers and just had an impromptu tea party. Despite being in a bit of a hurry by then as I needed to catch the bus back to where I was staying before they stopped running about 10pm, I ended up being there for about 3-4 hours. They were probably going to just be hanging around their studio anyway, and the cost of the tea they used was probably a dollar at most, but it was a unique experience for me to see something that probably the other thousand people who visited that day would walk past and didn't even know existed! Plus I got to practice my language skills in a completely different way than I'd done before.

One act of kindness from me in my early 20s, when I had a year travelling around Australia, was offering to buy a meal for a homeless guy begging outside McDonalds. It seemed such a simple thing, but it was clearly very transformative for him. Obviously, he would get some money each day from people throwing coins into his hat, but he said that about 90% of people walked past him and completely ignored him, and even the people that donated usually didn't even make eye contact. He told me it was the first real conversation he'd had with someone for about 5 years and for just a few dollars and 10 minutes of my time, I was able to make him feel that someone did actually see him as a real human being with his own story to tell. It definitely shaped me as a person too, because I saw how something so simple and easy for me made such a big difference to him.