An example. One day I was on the tube. My bag was on the seat next to me. A bloke gets on, points at my bag and says “sorry”.

What he actually meant, was “move your bag”.

The thing is, if he had said something so direct, I would have said “sorry, what did you say to me?”

And on and on…

Then I had a long relationship with an ethnically Dutch person but culturally a Londoner (she grew up there) and also learned there is “I am sorry for your pain and wish I could take it away” (this implies though they probably would do it again because they are not sorry for their actions).

It was maddening at first but now I am used to it. I only do this in English though. In Dutch it’s almost like I physically can’t. It feels wrong to use it that way, almost unethical even.

But maybe that’s a me thing.

But for a more distant example of the "I'm about to inconvenience you" usage being normal - isn't the Japanese "sumimasen" used almost exactly the same as these?

Not all Germans do it, but I'd say a fair share. I think, because the German "Entschuldigung" is four syllables long :D But that would work the same way and for example in the pub situations you can shout it much better: "Ent-shool-dee-goong?"

I wasn't aware this is something that doesn't work in all English-speaking countries. I may have overused the equivalent of the word in other languages, too. Scusi about that.

> "Good Morning!" said Bilbo, and he meant it. The sun was shining, and the grass was very green. But Gandalf looked at him from under long bushy eyebrows that stuck out further than the brim of his shady hat.

> "What do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

> "All of them at once," said Bilbo. "And a very fine morning for a pipe of tobacco out of doors, into the bargain.

That's all it means. Excuse my impertinence, presence, gaul, mere existence; I need your attention. Many languages have this overloaded phrase and use it just as a Brit would "sorry". It's formal deference. It's polite.

And it's not like we don't also shout "Oi!" when we need to determine whether or not some brigand possesses a licence for whatever it is they're doing.

Though, they don't mention the "I am sympathetic to your plight" version of sorry that seems to confound ppl a lot (which I also do)

So very Canada. Sorry!

So it is a southern English habit, not a British one. The other parts of England are more direct, and will use more obvious phrasing. Similarly the other parts of Britain will be more direct.

For instance 'yeah' can mean 'yes, continue', agreement, skepticism, (sarcastic) disagreement, enthusiasm, etc.

The cultural difference is what word is most commonly used.

English politeness is not necessarily a feature of our Celtic brother and sister's national character.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081937/

Can The Family Have a Good Time Playing Sorry? | The Carol Burnett Show Clip

https://youtu.be/_uBib8TatmA?t=397

You should also wink after ringing the little bell.

It's embarrassing and cringe-inducing to read that even one person--much less an entire culture -- feels more dignity getting beaten down and bullied by strangers or peers than confronting them openly or berating them publicl.

I am not sure BE is a spacial case.

I think I kind of accepted that I don't have hardware acceleration for pleasantries and I only use them when there's something very clear I can gain from that, like at work. Otherwise I default to "Pass me the salt." like saying a command to a subordinate. "Can you pass me the salt?" is peak politeness for me.

BTW there's a fun story. Back at the university I had some shit course with another faculty, and one of exercises was spotting things on a recording. I mentioned a scene where women in a third-world country were receiving education and said "... because those chicks were getting educated" and one girl got upset "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" while the other one got sad "nobody has ever called ME a chick!". Of course the interaction wasn't in English so that wasn't the exact word I used, but yeah.

I thought I was being pranked at first but then I learned that the exact same rule applies in certain "high establishments" in Geneva.

Another I don’t think was listed is a way to blunt an aggressive statement just in case there may be a misunderstanding.

“WTF did you just say to me?”

Might be “Sorry, but WTF did you just say to me?” would imply some anger that could lead to a fight but hey, sorry maybe I misheard you?

Which could funny enough lead to more sorries “oh, sorry I thought you said something else”.

Actually interesting I remember saying sorry in the sense of, "Can you repeat what you said?" and it annoyed one of my friends so much that she essentially trained me to say pardon instead because it was annoying her. Didn't realize it was part of my Canadian heritage.

  sorry that you're a cunt, now 

  1) get out of my way
  2) speak up
  3) get out of my fucking way
  4) stop being a cunt for a bit (and get out of my way)
  5) shut up
  6) fuck off