- That is very very funny, and oh so plausible.
I enjoyed this bit a lot from the timeline
> Karen Oyelaran finds the payload by reading the source code with her eyes and files a second issue. The triage assistant closes it as “duplicate of #8814.” Issue #8814 is a feature request for dark mode. Karen reopens it. The assistant closes it. Karen reopens it. Karen’s GitHub account is rate-limited for “patterns consistent with automated behaviour.”
And this - the final sentence is a perfect indictment of the timeline we are in.
> Two AI review agents from competing vendors, both attached to a downstream pull request bumping foxhole-lz4, enter a disagreement loop over whether the package is malicious. After 340 comments and $41,255 in inference spend, Finance revokes both API keys; one vendor’s marketing team, cc’d on the cost anomaly alert, issues a press release citing “a 430% YoY increase in adversarial multi-agent security reasoning.” The stock opens up 6%.
I'm joining the goat farming waitlist ;-)
by Octoth0rpe
1 subcomments
- The entire post is great, but the acknowledgements section is particularly excellent:
> Kubernetes (the dog), who was not involved in this incident but whose photo in the #incident-response channel was auto-tagged by the Slack image classifier as “container orchestration diagram (confidence: 0.31)”
- > Duration: 96 hours (billable: 2.1 trillion tokens)
Now there's a metric that would make my boss nervous.
> Total inference spend across all parties during the incident window was $1.7M, which Marketing has asked us to start describing as “a record investment in autonomous customer assurance.”
This is too funny.
by aliasxneo
1 subcomments
- > Approximately 11% of affected hosts were still running fish as their login shell following the February incident; this had no bearing on anything but is noted here for completeness
Yeah, this one got me laughing and seems like such a heavy Claudism. The number of times I'm reading Claude's response and throwing my hands in the air like, "What the fck does that have to do with anything!?" It's the worst part of the over eagerness.
by SpyCoder77
1 subcomments
- I did not realize this was satire until like halfway through. That is how insane the times are becoming
- (I know its a satire, but could be seen as an actual post mortem of the future incident) This report made me realize there's no place for humans, as it is right now, in the process of building software systems in the future. Reading this incident made me dizzy after few paragraphs because of the cognitive context overload and I lost track multiple times.
- Great write-up.
Side note: interesting to see how many folks commenting did not get it being satire (even the title has LGTM). I guess it's time to rethink how sharp the HN folks truly are compared to the average non-tech person (not that I had any big assumptions myself).
I'm curious about this recipe for chevre :D
by Procrastes
0 subcomment
- I actually know a goat rancher who is working to require ag impact studies for data centers in Texas. Sounds like I should give him a call while I can.
(Also CVE-2026-LGTM would be an awesome name for a Culture ship)
by NooneAtAll3
1 subcomments
- previously on HN: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48086082 "Incident Report: CVE-2024-YIKES"
- I really enjoyed the line “The incident was resolved when the attacker’s autonomous agent read a file it shouldn’t have, which is also how the incident started.”
- Previous piece from this genre: https://short-edition.com/en/classic/story/mark-twain/a-tele...
- Brought to you by the people who've been told repeatedly since mid 90s not to glue SQL strings together.
- I was wondering why the CVE number has LGTM in it, then my AI reminds me it is satire...
- > Seven LLMs were arranged in series. Six assumed another had read the code; the seventh read it and apologised.
And this is why management assumes that one can just automate software developers.
by akramachamarei
0 subcomment
- Kinda reminds me of Snowcrash in vibes
- Still no foxhole-lz4 on Github? Come on, someone should fork it from vulpine-lz4 :)
- This incident report is WILD
The incident was resolved when the attacker’s autonomous agent read a file it shouldn’t have, which is also how the incident started.
- If you're wondering what creats.io is - this is satire!
by cavalrytactics
1 subcomments
- Should have used Sigmashake guardrails... When will this industry learn. Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHZaMu6J0F0
by PunchyHamster
1 subcomments
- Well the part about brand-image-incompatible depictions of firefox logo apparently wasn't a satire
by faeyanpiraat
0 subcomment
- You had me in the first half :)
by ant-kinesthetic
0 subcomment
- "We continue to take security seriously, now at scale." is gold aha.
- This person should head up writing the next Silicon Valley.
by leothetechguy
0 subcomment
- [flagged]
- [dead]
by priyankarr
0 subcomment
- [flagged]
by windsurfer
4 subcomments
- Perhaps a [Satire] note should be added to the headline.
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